Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The lake that spawned a thousand songs

Once more around the campfire with this ever so malleable ditty. From the mind of Ted Betts, Liberal lyricist and comedian:
If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a summit - I would buy you a summit
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
I'd buy you a photo op for your summit - maybe a nice landscape or a waterfront
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a steamboat - a nice old fixer-upper
And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your vote.

If I had a billion dollars
I'd build a gazebo in our yard
If I had a billion dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a billion dollars
Maybe we could put like a $200,000 toilet in there somewhere.

If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a Muskoka lake - but not a real Muskoka lake, that's cruel
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd shut down a city - yep, like a Toronto or a Huntsville
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you Lyin’ Bryan's remains - ooh, all them crazy jowel bones
And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your vote.

If I had a billion dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a billion dollars
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a billion dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
[Ed note: really, what would you change in that verse? It’s perfect as is.]

If I had a billion dollars - If I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a sidewalk - but not a real sidewalk going somewhere, that's cruel
And if I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you some vid - a Sony or a Jumbo
If I had a billion dollars - if I had a billion dollars
Well, I'd buy you a monkey – I have so many monkeys to spare
If I had a billion dollars I'd buy your vote.

If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars left, we'd be rich.
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